Changed

My first morning back from a six day mission trip to Ecuador was refreshing however; I am still left with a longing to go back. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy to be home with my family but I long for the cold showers, no phone or tv, long hours doing ministry and especially longing for the people there.

God reminded me who He is and who He has called me to be and what He has called me to do on the trip to Ecuador. I had allowed people, things and this world to suffocate my walk with Him and I had grown cold to Him and others.

As I am sitting here on my back porch, I realize how my flowers and plants have grown and changed since I have been gone.  God revealed to me that was what He has and is doing in me during the trip to Ecuador and now as I am writing;  changing my attitude, my life and my heart. Oh, how I praise You, Father. I recognize that change doesn’t have to be on a mission trip or something dramatic to happen but can come daily by spending quality time with Him and allowing Him to heal and to minister to me. These are all things that I know but by being so consumed by the world, I couldn’t see it anymore.

As I said earlier I was longing for Ecuador even now as I write my longing is even changing to a longing to  to have a changed heart that is so saturated of  Him.

“Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.”  Matthew 11:28

He has given me rest in my soul and changed what was darkness back toward the light.

Are you changing to be more like Him? Or are you like me where I was suffocating from the things of this world or maybe you are tired of trying and ready to give up? Whatever it may be that is holding you back from allowing Him in to change you; give it to God today and allow the process to begin. Remember the process of us changing doesn’t end until we are home with our Father. We must come to God daily for Him to show us and change us to be who He has created us to be.

Don’t halt the process; go to Him and find rest for your soul.

Lord, create in me a thirst for You. Train my soul to know clean, pure refreshment. Train my soul for You.

Changing,

Tammy

Already Won

While waiting to hear from my daughter yesterday about her cheer try-outs. I went in her bathroom to find that she had put five pink construction papers across the top of her vanity mirror. This is what each one said:
Day 1, Try a little harder be a little better.
Day 2, Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive about what would go right.
Day 3, You can't fall if you don't climb.
Day 4, "Do not be afraid" is written in the Bible 365 times. That's a daily reminder from God to live everyday FEARLESS
Day 5, Don't worry, if it supposed to happen it will!
She had one more posted that has been hanging up for almost year that says: "I am fearfully and wonderfully made" Psalms 139:14. Rebecca had posted these to remind herself throughout this week to be secure, confident in who she is in Christ. As I stood there looking at each one God showed me that Rebecca had already won no matter how the day may turn out! Just like a year ago, when she didn't make the cheer team, she won that day too within her heart. It was painful and hard.
I've tried to teach my children, as hard as it is, to embrace the situation or the circumstances that they are in  and allow God to change and mold them to be more like Christ. As a mother it is hard to say that because in my heart I desire for Lee and Rebecca to be able to do and be a part of the things they want to do. More importantly, I want them to embrace God's plan and desires for their lives. As a mother it is hard to watch your child go through painful times. I have come to realize that those are the times God is shaping, growing, maturing & building character in them to be more like Jesus. My prayer for Lee and Rebecca is that they will choose to let God make those changes in them. The same thing applies to me, as well. If we know Christ we have already won, no matter what we are going through! That's hard to wrap my mind around sometimes, but I know it is true. My Father is Faithful to me, even when I am not faithful to HIM.
I don't know where you are today or what you are going through but I do pray that you will embrace where you are at and give it to God. He will walk you through the process. I pray that you will allow Him to fill the hurts, disappointments, pain, loneliness and voids with His Love, Peace, Joy and with confidence of who you are in Christ. YOU Have Already Won!

P.S.  Rebecca made the team!

Overwhelmed by Him,
Tammy

The Door of Full Surrender

I felt lead to post and share this devotion today. It spoke loudly to my heart. I so desire to be fully surrendered to Him and His calling on my life. I don't want my fleshly desires to get in the way of His purpose for me ( which it does sometimes). I am praying for whoever reads this and might be at a cross road in their life and wondering what is God doing. I pray that you will trust, fall on your face and rest/embrace where He has you at and know that His plans are a divine purpose for His kingdom. I am clinging with you as we fully surrender to Him alone and saturate ourselves in His love for us to get through each crossroad, bump, heartache and joys that come our way. I love you deeply.
The Door of Full Surrender
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1, by Os Hillman
08-02-2012
"But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold." Job 23:10 I was recently sitting with the leader of a workplace organization as he described a question he poses to workplace believers. "What if there were two doors to choose from; behind one door was the complete will of God for your life and behind the other door was how life could be according to your own preference. Which door would you choose?" The struggle for most lies in the desire to follow God completely and the fear of what might be behind the door of full surrender. Most of us desire to follow God, but few of us will do it at any cost. We do not really believe that God loves us to the degree that we are willing to give Him complete permission to do as He wills in us. If we desire to fully walk with Christ, there is a cost. We may give intellectual assent and go along with His principles and do fine; however, if we are fully given over to Him and His will for our life, it will be a life that will have adversity. The Bible is clear that humans do not achieve greatness without having their sinful will broken. This process is designed to create a nature change in each of us, not just a habit change. The Bible calls it circumcision. Circumcision is painful, bloody, and personal. If God has plans to greatly use you in the lives of others, you can expect your trials to be even greater than those of others. Why? Because, like Joseph who went through greater trials than most patriarchs, your calling may have such responsibility that God cannot afford to entrust it to you without ensuring your complete faithfulness to the call. He has much invested in you on behalf of others. He may want to speak through your life to a greater degree than through another. The events of your life would become the frame for the message He wants to speak through you. Do not fear the path that God may lead you on. Embrace it. For God may bring you down a path in your life to ensure the reward of your inheritance. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" (2 Cor. 4:17)

Seasons

Reflecting on my day with my mother and daughter; God brought to my thoughts Ecclesiastes 3:1. “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven.”

I spent the day cleaning my mother’s house, taking her to the drugstore, to town and sitting at her feet giving her a pedicure. I never thought of as a young woman, ever coming to this place in my life of taking care of my mother. Her health is declining and the simple tasks of life she used to do are getting hard for her to do now.

My week began with plans of going to Mobile at the end of the week to be with my friends, whose daughter was having back surgery. Brooke, their daughter is severely autistic. By Monday night, I found out my mother was hurting in her hips and back. I knew then, I probably would not get to go to Mobile. But I kept holding out; thinking I would go as the week went on. The day I was supposed to be leaving on my trip, I went to check on my mother, who was not feeling well. At that moment, God told me my priority was to be here, to take care of my mother’s needs. I let my friends know that I would not be coming, but my heart was longing to be there with them during this time in their lives.

Then, thinking of my Mom, Brooke, and Brooke’s mom, Dani, my friend, I knew God had each of us where He wanted us to be, even though in our hearts there was a desire to be together. He reminded me that His plans are not ours and we need to trust Him no matter what.

I am learning through each season of my life that events are not always going to be the way I want them. I am to take these seasons God has me in and embrace them and grow from them. God has taken me through many different seasons in my life, some lasted longer than others. They have taught me about life, who I am in Him, to see the way He moves and to love others deeply. Some of those seasons have been painful and have cut deep into the core of my heart, others have been blessings and joyful. The one thing I do know, even when I don’t understand the season I am in, is that I can lean on Him, embrace, trust and allow Him to love me through it.

Seasons, there are many kinds that come in our lives; happy, painful, growing, lonely, tragic, and peaceful and many more.

So, I ask what season are you in. Maybe God is blessing you so much that it is overwhelming or it is a difficult time. Remember He is with you and will never leave or forsake you! Trust Him, as He takes you through this time in your life. He has a purpose and plan for His kingdom in the seasons. He is waiting with His arms wide open!

Listening

The clock read 11:58pm and I had awoken from a deep sleep thinking it was close to getting up time. I laid there thinking I would go back to sleep, but I never did. So, with much reluctance, I got up and went to the living room to read. I immediately got on my phone to check what was going on around me when I heard the sound of birds chirping and an owl hooting. I stopped what I was doing as the quietness of the moment brought sounds of God's creation. As I was listening I heard another sound coming from my Savior saying, "Seek me, Tammy." I stopped self-focusing and turned to my bible and opened it to Psalms. I came to Psalms 5:3,"In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my request before you and wait with expectation." My focus that week had gotten off my Savior and had been on self and what I wanted.

Throughout the rest of the day, God brought the word "listen" to my attention through His creation, devotions, songs and other ways. He showed me to be attentive to listening to Him instead of people and Satan. " Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

I realized at the end of that day that in those wee hours of the mornings when God awakens me, when there is no noise or busyness to distract me from Him; that they are precious and valuable times with Him. It is a intimate and healing time together that allows me to bring my hurts to the surface, disappointments, needs, and praises to God and to listen to my Savior's sweet love for me.

Listening is something I need to do more of, not only with Him, but with others as well.

Are you listening? The lover of your soul wants to whisper sweet nothings to you.

Stop, take the time today, to get alone and listen. He has something to say to YOU....

"Give ear, O Heavens, and I will speak; And hear, o earth, the words of my mouth. Let my teaching drop as the rain, My speech distill as the dew, As raindrops on the tender herb, and as showers on the grass. For I proclaim the name of the Lord: Ascribe greatness to our God. He is the Rock, His work is perfect; For all His ways are justice, A God of truth and without injustice; Righteous and upright is He.                Deuteronomy 32:1-4

It's Not About You

It’s Not About You

I just left Athens Hospital from doing a devotion with some of the staff there. This was my third time in going and sharing. As soon as I got outside of the doors, Satan came after me in my thoughts screaming you are an idiot, what do you think your doing you don’t even know what you are trying to say, they are laughing at you, they want come back, and on and on he went. I could feel myself sinking further and further. As I was driving home, I heard my sweet savior whispering to me; Tammy, you did what I asked you to do, to share my word. Quit worrying about how people respond or didn’t; only be obedient to what I call you to do. It is not about you; it’s about Me and My kingdom. I am the one responsible for stirring their hearts and what I want from you. As I listen to Him, a new song “Blessings’ by Laura Stone came on the radio. I pulled in my garage and sat listening and allowing God to minister to me at that moment. I released the tears that I was holding back and ask for forgiveness of my pride, insecurities and all the other feelings that I was having. My Father, comfort, reassure and loved me back to Him.

 It’s not about me, when things don’t go my way, people don’t respond the way I think they should or about my feelings. God has taught me that lesson today and reminded me what life is really all about, HIM. I am so grateful for His love, grace and mercy He shows me through talking with Him, songs, His word and other ways He communicates to me.

Be reminded that it’s not about you or what you want; it’s about being in the center of His will and what He is calling you to do. More importantly, don't let the lies of Satan stop you from what God is calling you to do!

"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the sea of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he mediates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water which yields it fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither.
Psalm 1:1-3

Life

Life is like a roller coaster ride; exciting, fun, fearful dangerous, and scary. The ride can be exhilarating one moment, and sickening the next. Life can be that way also, especially on our way up the roller coaster we are full of anticipation, excitement, maybe some fear and laughter.Then all of sudden we are going down thinking "what have I done" or " I am not going to make it". We are scared to the point that we can't laugh or cry and we are ready to get the ride over with. Some days we are going down the track smoothly, enjoying the scenery and having a great  time, but ahead we see a sharp curve coming our way or we are going so fast that our heads are aching and the ride is jarring us and slinging us from side to side. At this point, we are ready to bail out of the situation now!

God reminded me that the roller coaster will eventually come to a stop and that He is with me on the ride whether I am at the top flying high, the middle being jarred and shaken badly, at the bottom ready to give up and get off where He has me.

I don't know where you are at today; at the top, the middle, or at the bottom, but know God is riding with you  and has the safety belt pulled tightly against Him and that eventually the ride will come to a stop. So, don't be afraid  to get on the ride! In the meantime if you get on, hang on to Him, give all your emotions to Him, sit back, let Him be in control and receive all that He has to offer you along the way. He has promised us that He will never leave or forsake us, no matter what.

"Give Me Jesus"

"Give Me Jesus" is a song by Jeremy Camp that I love! The question came to my mind as I was listening to the song, one day, "What is a life with Jesus"?

A life that is:
Bound to Him
Intertwined with Him
Full of joy, trust,peace
Filled with His love
Filled with hope
Immeresed with His presence
Shining with His glory
On a journey for His Kingdom
In communication with Him
Intimate with Him
Compassionate for others
Giving of self and dying to self
Sold out for Him
Seeks truth from Him
Has freedom in Him
Longing to be with Him
A frangance of Him
Saturated in His love
Desiring more of Him

A life that cries "Give Me Jesus"!

I pray that your life models the life of Jesus! If not, cry out to Him, "Give Me Jesus"!

"All I Know To Do"

"All I know to do is to lift my hands" is a song that  God brought to mind recently. As I ponder on these words, I asked myself and you when there is nothing else that you can do or say, what do you do?

For me at the moment, I thought of volunteers for the nursery. People suggest so many ideas to us and we have tried the majority of what they are suggesting us to do. I turn to God and tell Him how I feel. He reminds me of this song early on Sunday mornings, when I know that we will be short handed with workers and especially in times of my life, when I cannot not fix what is going on with or around me. I just stop, lift my head, hands and voice to Him. "And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious  riches in Christ Jesus" Phil.4:19 God always shows up to give, provide what I need at every moment, when I allow Him to.

Where are you today? Are you going through a difficult time; financial troubles, addictions, marriage, family and you have done "all you know to do". Lift your hands, head and voice to the One who knows you and understands what you are going through. " But you are a shield around me, O Lord;you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. Psalm 3:3

 Don't stay in the situation or giving into the lies that Satan is throwing at you. Run to Him; He is there waiting with arms wide open.

Give, trust and rely on HIM to get you through your next step!
Phil 1:3 - Tells us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!

Why Me?

The day had come that my husband and I had to make a decision about taking care of his ninety year old grandmother. His grandmother was very independent woman who lived by herself four hours away from us. She recently fell and broke her hip. During the weeks and months ahead as Gene went back and forth to take care of her, Gene realized she was unable to take care of herself anymore. Gene came to me and asked if we could bring Mamaw into our home to care for her, the only answer for us at that time was yes. Afterwards the realitiy begin to set in; our children were four and seven at the time, Gene had been out of a job for six month and I began to question God. How can we do this with no job, small children, and I was a stay at home mom? Why us and why now?

During the weeks and months of preparing to bring Mamaw to our home, Gene received a call from our Associate/Youth Pastor from our church; he asked if I could go on a World Changers trip with the students. The trip was paid for and Gene knew I always wanted to go on one. I went with mixed emotions, but excited to get away for a while.
The morning that I was to find out with the group what we were assigned to, I was late getting there. As I approach the group, everyone looked disappointed. I asked, what was wrong and they said, we are assigned to a nursing home. I sat down stunned because I knew the reason why I was in this group going to a nursing home. I didn't hear anything else but what my Father was saying to me at that moment. I asked for His forgiveness for doubting Him and what He was doing in my life. My God prepared me that week with the different experinces that I had in the nursing, for what I would experience when Mamaw came to live with us and when we had to put her in a nursing home over the next four years. It was a life changing experience.

Do I understand the "Why me or us", no sometimes God doesn't reveal the why's. But God does allow me to see, like with Gene's grandmother, some of the reasons why. He is changing me to be more like Jesus during the whys.
God tells us in Jeremiah 29:11, that He has a plan and purpose for our lives and in Ecclesiastes, He tells us that His ways are not our ways. I need to remember when I am asking "Why me", that those times are part of His divine plan and purpose  for our life that will and can be life changing for us.

I don't understand everything that God is doing in my life and my families, but I do want to be a part of His divine plan no matter what, because they are life changing.

Christmas Everyday

God brought me to this title as I begun to really think about Christmas memories. He didn't take me back to Christmas morning, but to all the different gifts and treasures that He gave me this past year.
My husband had open heart surgery back in the spring and before the surgery there were all the questions in my heart of what ifs. On a Respite night a young man, Daniel who cannot speak but a few words and who loves for  you to read to him came up to me in the hallway, took my hand to read a sentence to him. The sentence came out of the book The Crippled Lamb, Daniel's favorite book. The sentence read, Josh wanted to believe her, but it was hard. Some days he just felt alone. This is where I was before Gene's surgery, but that night changed me through Daniel. The day of the surgery, I received more treasures from my friends that came and stayed until that afternoon when Gene came out of surgery. Some of my friends brought goodies and the book, The Crippled Lamb!  Other times this year God gave me treasures through a man name Porter on a beach in Florida, by allowing me to share my testimony, through my kids love for me, praying with a respite care family whose daughter was going to have a major surgery and a friend calling to share a treasure she recieved that we are only require of two things each day, to love God and love others. There are so many gifts that He has given me this year. Each one brought me to the face of Jesus and changed my life in some way. As I close, the scripture from Luke 2:19 came to my mind, "But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart." Just like Mary, God blesses us with heavenly treasures that are eternal everyday. I don't know about you, but I want to have Christmas in my life everyday that I am here on this earth!! May you receive a treasure today and this Christmas!  

Christmas 2010

Going Places

Planning a trip is fun, exciting and we just can't wait to get to our destination. We are buying new outfits, thinking of all the different things we can do, and preparing in advanced so we will be sure to enjoy our trip when we ge there.
What happens though when we know God wants to send us to a new place? Fear sets in, thoughts of I can't do this or go there, or insecurity takes over us. The joy, excitement, and eagerness to go that we had for our trip(vacation) has left us when God calls us to go with Him sometimes. Why is that, I ask myself? The truth is most of the time it is our selfishness. We don't want to have to give up something because we know when God calls He is calling us to surrender our will, our desires to His and totally trusting Him wherever He takes us. When we do go freely and allowing Him to guide the way it is a most memorable trip that can be shared with our children, grandchildren and friends of God'samazing  love for us. These trips are the ones that will change our lives and other people lives if we will share in our God places.
God called Jonah to go preach to the city of Ninevah on repentance. As you know, Jonah refuse to go but God didn't give in to Jonah's running away. God pursued him until Jonah's heart and eyes opened  to God's calling. By Jonah refusing to follow God's leading it cost Jonah pain,a traumatic experience, selfish anger and he went to a place that he didn't have to go. Just like Jonah we cause a  lot of our own hurts, pain, depression and other unhappy experiences that could be avoided if we would only got to the place God called s to with Him. God is always with us wherever He sends us.
Are you going to go or stay in the same place that is familiar and comfortable to you? Yes you will be stretched, tried, fearful and all the other things that are going through your mind. But when we go with God there are blessings, excitement, and changes within us that no one can experience or take away from us that are eternal treasures  imbedded in our hearts. So, let's go with Him.
It's your choice.
Isaiah 6:8 Also I heard the voice of the Lord saying, " Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then I said. "Here am I,send me!"

My Back Porch

"Come to me who are weary and heavy laden. I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
Recently, early in the morning I had retreated to my back porch before my household had awakened. The sun was starting to pop out, the birds were chirping and my heart started stirring with the beauty of it all. As I was sitting and taking it all in, my mind was spinning with all kinds of thoughts about situtations going on in my life. I was so desiring to get away from it "ALL". I began to ask the Lord, simply telling Him I need to go on vacation or go somewhere, to be alone with Him. While my prayers or requests were being made, I was brought back to my surroundings of the beautiful hanging baskets, dew on the grass, warmth of the sun, chirping of the birds and the glow of His presence. God spoke to me in that moment;He said "Tammy,here is your getaway". He gently reminded me that I could have treasured getaways right on my back porch everyday and anytime I wanted them. All I need to do is make the time and allow Him to come with me. My back porch has been a treasured time with my Father, family and precious friends; it brings me rest, peace and a time that I savor with my God. At these moments, I am able to give Him all that wearies and burdens me and allow Him to heal, comfort and meet my needs like no one else can with His perfect timing.
God has taught me whether I am on vacation or a brief getaway with Him, I can have special moments daily;all I have to do is make the time and position myself in a place to receive the treasures He is ready to give me!
Where and what is your back porch? Allow your Heavenly Father to take you there, to give you just what you need for the day or the season in your life you might be iin. Take the time to rest in His love!
" MY soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him." Psalm 62:1
Have a blessed day!

Words

Are there words that are imbedded in your heart from your past? Fat, ugly, unlovable, unworthy, incompetent, and stupid words; the list goes on and on. Some of the words have been said to me and have cut deep into my heart from my childhood to adult life. I have heard adults say some of these words about other people. It's no wonder we struggle with our self worth. Satan loves nothing better that to throw these words in your face constantly. Lies are what these words are to us. Our problem is that we have listened for so long that we believe them.
God has given me new words to replace the lies. One of those words is believed. I was asked in a counseling session; in what and whom did I believe. I learned that I had been listening to the lies of Satan instead of the truth that God had already told me in His word about myself.
Another word is treasure. God showed me through another person that I was treasuring things of this world instead of the eternal things that He has for me. Loving people is an eternal thing. He has given me many more words, but these are the two that stands out the most in my life because they are life changing words for me.
The bible says that our tongue is sharper than a two edged sword. What words are you saying to or about others? Are they damaging to the heart? Do they bring one down or do they uplift, encourage and edify? It's sad to say, but in today's society, Satan is using us to destroy the spirits of those we talk to with our choice of damaging words. Are you choosing your words wisely?
Psalms 19:14
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.

Name of Jesus

A few years ago while visiting my husband's grandmother in the nursing home, I experienced the power in the name of Jesus. I was on my way out when from one of the rooms,a little lady was crying out help me, help me. As I passed the room, I felt a tug in my heart to go in. I turned around and went in where she was. The lady was quite distraught( whether in pain or confusion-I don't know). Her eyes were closed when I approached her; I immediately took her hand and leaned into her ear and told her Jesus loves you and it will be okay. I repeatedly said the name of Jesus and she immediately stopped crying out. I left the room in quietness and a changed in my heart by what happened. Through this experience and other times I have learned that there is power in the name of Jesus.
There are times when all I know to do is say the name of Jesus in a situtation. This brings me peace within itself when I say His name. God sent Jesus to be our salvation, redeemer, comforter, to intercede for us and be our great High Priest. All He wants from us is to call upon Him and see what He will do!
How often do you say the name of Jesus? Be reminded today that there is power in the name of Jesus!
Claim it, say it - live it!

Reputation

Jesus made himself of no reputation. He didn't worry about what others thought when He was hanging around the unknowns, that He allowed a prostitute to wash His feet, that no one believed Him or that He went to the places that no one wanted to go to. He loved the unlovely and the lovely.Jesus did what God called Him to do:to be the light of the world and bring salvation for everyone. He showed no favoritism to a certain person or crowd; He loved unconditionally. He wasn't concerned if He was recognized or honored for the miracles that He performed. He didn't try to be someone else, let others persuade Him off track, manipulate things to go His way or do more good things for people to follow Him. People spat on Him, called Him names and even His friends denied Him in His time of need.
What is your reputation or are you making yourself of no reputation? Are you known for things that you do, for being negative, a gossiper, and one who goes along with the crowd even when you know it's not what God wants? Or, are you trying to be more like Jesus standing firm in His truth in the calling on your life even when you're the one being called names, being judged, not getting recognized for your work, or ideas just getting passed by? In Matthew 16:24, Jesus said, If you desire to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. Also, He tells us in Matthew 8:21-22 "Follow Me, and let the dead bury their own dead." We are to imitate Jesus and what He did. Yes, we are still in the flesh and we will fall short, but when we are daily walking, seeking Him we don't fall short as often.
I think the question now is do I care more about my reputation or being obedient to follow Jesus' example of living out my calling while here in this world? What about you?
" You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." Matthew 22:37